i feel like the worst part honestly of traveling in our country is that theres no surprises i swear to you i travel every week and its really a disappointment every place is exactly what i thought it was going to be you know i can prove it to you picture a place youve never been to in this country picture it thats exactly how it is what are the people like you wonder what do you think theyre like thats right its i swear to you go to san francisco theyre like ah were offended and youre like yep i know texas i dont think the people of texas necessarily want to execute retarded people but i think theyre like you know what this is texas so whoo thats how we do it around here brother a little boot scoot boop see you later dumdum all right theyve done it multiple times they keep doing it im sowwy yeah me too crazy the midwest i mean dont you feel like we could draw a circle around the midwest and be like do we need this except for wherever youre from that place is fucking awesome the northeast shady fucking people in shady cities thats all they are just shady just fucking all those places jersey philly balti theyre all how you doing not now thank you very much can i help you with something nope never in my life the one quality i do love about northeastern people though you could be in an argument with them and be like youre a fucking asshole and theyre like thank you my dads an asshole and so am i its kind of a thing

oh guys thank you for having jobs um im assuming you do i dont fucking know youre here maybe you robbed somebody but i was just thinking about how long its been since ive had a job and how i absolutely could not get one right now if i went into a place and gave them my rsum theyd be like whats with this 13 year gap on here man and id be like whats with all the questions dude chill out i mean if i had to get a job i think i would just go for a job where no one knows what the fuck im talking about so i could just make shit up because theres a few of those like the spokesman for an arson investigation um arson means fire by the way im seeing a lot of blank faces and you can see them online like a guy comes out to a podium and theres a mic and theres news people around theres a burned down building behind and hes just like hey that shit burned down could you tell us a little more hes like what totally aggravated what do you wanna know how did it start it was a match and they go how do you know we found it it like its one theres other matches and hes like mm mmm this one they go how do you know thats the match just complicated fire shit you wouldnt understand thing is man i miss zero part of having a day job thats the truth i miss zero part the only part i still miss is spreading rumors and gossip about people that work there thats the fucking best it is i remember going to work sucks thats universal i mean shit most of you will have it on monday fuckin the alarm goes off and you go motherfucker todays gonna suck but im gonna talk shit about amanda when i get there and then that raises your spirit right you think about that in the shower im gonna ruin amandas day today this is for you amanda aahh the fucked up thing is people making you feel badly for enjoying that you shouldnt feel badly for enjoying gossip its 100 percent normal and natural to because its definitely an extension of childhood because all of us when we were kids and all kids now for a certain period of time the worst storytellers ever okay you dont know shit about editing information enhancing things keeping peoples interest you dont have to have a kid to know about this talk to any kid a friend s kid a niece a nephew its when you go to a kid you go like hey were you outside and they go yeah and youre like why dont you dial that back that was crazy okay and then you ask one question like how was that and they go i have when when jeanette came by she she didnt she brought the yellow cup that she didnt want to kick the ball back but i said can cause brians cup is red that if you if you if you dont have it now then you dont have to bring the blue cause the blue one that jane had was with her i said if you dont have it you can you can use mine now but then then next its my turn you go that was a great fucking story thank you je sus and then kids accidentally tell their first good story they dont mean to its an accident thats why it leaves an impact cause you go were you at the park and they go yeah and you go how was that and they go i saw uncle jeff and he had a lady sitting on his lap but it wasnt aunt maria and youre like what and the kids like shit ive never seen that fucking face before and youre like thats a good story go find more stories like that thats burned into your psyche thats why you go to work you see your coworker youre like hey i got some juice and theyre like is it gonna negatively impact somebodys life yeah and theyre like fucking hook that shit up ive spread so many fucking rumors my favorite part about rumors nobody verifies shit somebody says something once and youre like cool ill roll with that forever thanks man are you gonna fact check that why you said it out loud i dont have to check anything out its now a fact so whatever its a seed right you ever a part of one that just grows

heres great travel advice okay do not take the red eye if you dont know what that is its amazing that you made it this far in life its when you fly overnight from the west coast to the eastern time zone some people love that flight and those people are sociopaths because heres why you land and your bodys like well its 3 30 in the morning i guess were going to sleep and then the world goes uh nope 6 30 dickhead get ready to do stuff and then you cry for days last one i ever went on i boarded with my wife we get on she looks at our boarding passes she goes were not sitting next to each other and i go okay i dont know she goes you dont wanna switch seats and i go not really and she goes why not i said cause we dont have to she goes what does that mean i said well theres only two people that have to sit next to each other and theyre up front we can sit anywhere she goes youre gonna ask people to move and i was like great should be a real treat thats always fun right you all settled in want to stand the fuck up now great so were both window seats we need an aisle to move so i go to the guy sitting next to her and this guy is old i dont know how old but it doesnt look good hes hes drooling hes got rubber where there used to be bones put it this way its his last flight all right so after this one no ms so i go excuse me gandalf do you think that you could move so i can sit next to my wife and he goes move mm hmm he goes you move yep ill move here and then you move there and he goes you cant see a meniscus i wont be able to stretch out as much i cant stretch i gotta sit by the aisle access and stretch it out there so its built up more itll be seven eight times more if i sit over there and i go are you reading me a fucking novel about this jesus just say no and i hope you lose your leg and then i turned around well he was a dick he was was he old yes was he disabled severely

then what you head uh you head on down south where god dont make no junk thats a real expression by the way god dont make no junk they say it a lot i lived there for a while they say it to people who are complaining about their own situation so essentially its a pick me up right like some lady might go i aint purty and i aint no good no ones ever gonna love me and someonell go dont you talk that mess dont you say that sally billy bob sandra dont you say that god dont make no junk i always want to interrupt and be like id like to politely disagree i think he was nodding off when he made you while your sunken eyes and protruding underbite are charming that map of white trash is not sending a lot of lead to the pencil youre right youre gonna die alone bah bah bah nascar fart beer you big box of stupid

disabled people have to earn their cool points just like the rest of us im so exhausted of the idea that everybody with a disability is automatically an angel on earth theyre not theyre people and you should treat them like people but you dont you patronize the shit out of them yeah i know you do of course theres so many uncomfortably silent guilty faces in here right now yeah you know when youre at work and fucking sam rolls up its always sam you dont go hey sam you go hai sahm and hes like hi and you go how was your weekend hes like it was good well thats good and hes like you know im not retarded right i just cant stand up youre a fucking asshole some of them are cool some of them are dicks i was walking into a building not two weeks ago i open the door ten steps back i notice a guys coming up with no arms you know what i do i hold the door and when he gets up he goes i dont need you to do that shit and i go all right okay stumpy um lets watch you bite that handle for an hour thatll be a fun fucking show fuck that guy absolutely fuck him

so midnight on this flight the lights come on and thats too early right thats too early for the red eye i panic i think were dying so i see the attendant i go hey what the fucks happening she goes theres a medical emergency in the back are you a doctor and i go look at me you think im a doctor and she goes are any of you and we go no i said i think we just established that none of us are doctors how about you kill those lights so we can go back to sleep and she goes well he needs help and i go well were not doctors we could stand around him for a while if you think thatll help yeah hes fucked up huh comedian mostly stories hang in there i dont fucking know so half an hour later lights are still on and i go what are we doing and she goes i think were gonna divert and i go divert does that mean were gonna dump fuel have you ever asked somebody something so profoundly stupid to them that they have to physically regroup before they answer your question like she went to answer and then she went huh like her brain was like control alt delete rebooted and she goes divert doesnt mean dump fuel you dumb shit and i was like i know i was just playing gah she said were gonna land at the nearest airport well get him off and well get him help then well continue and i go you gotta be shitting me and she goes no and i said well what if hes dead and she goes what and i go if hes dead were not just gonna land to drop off some luggage right were gonna keep going and she goes i guess so and i said well in that case i am a doctor and im gonna need a pillow stat and then i fucking killed a guy on a plane it was the most fun ive ever had in my life

um bikes i get like verbal tics you know i dont have tourettes i wish i did it looks fun but ill just yell shit its like a hook on a catchy song except its just stuff that i watch and then bikes i just yell it you know over and over only like two or three million times but im obsessed with the show scared straight um if youve never seen it its tremendous heres what they do in the show they take kids middle school and high school kids that are getting in trouble a lot and they send them to jail for a day and the idea is that jail will scare the fuck out of the kid and then hell get his life together hence scared straight its tremendous im obsessed with one episode it aired once in 1999 heres whats great it aired uncensored which is bananas and in this episode they did not send the kids to jail like they normally do instead they sent them to a maximum security penitentiary prison and those prisoners verbally assaulted these kids into crying a lot and its the funniest shit i have ever seen in my life first of all dont feel like too bad for these kids are super badass theyre not like spitting spitballs in class and theyre fucking stabbing other kids theyre badass kids okay and they show up to this thing with attitude they walk in theyre like whats up i run sixth grade i aint scared of you man like you cant scare me and theyre greeted by a guy named crazy chris chris has scars on his face and the screen freezes and it says chris killed six people and hes doing a double life sentence like this dude is so bad that when he dies and hes reincarnated that guy is doing life in prison also so this is a bad motherfucker right here the kids are like squatting around and chris is like hey my names crazy chris and from now on you will see me in your nightmares and the kids are like what the fuck like im 12 dont talk to me like that man thats crazy and he goes if i ever see you again ill take a bite out of each of you and theyre like all right were reformed now thank you very much jesus but they cant leave the next guy comes up to them and he goes hold mah pocket hold mah pocket and he makes kids walk around holding the inside of his pocket you understand so he walks and then theyre like i dont know what you know about prison but if youre holding onto another dudes pocket its gonna be a rough day all right not only is this guy making kids hold his hes talking ridiculous shit to middle schoolers hes like imma make you suck my dick for breakfast every mornin and the kids are like i hate breakfast ugh funny shit like that so hes like imma mush your motherfucking face and the kids like its so fucking funny ah theres one exchange where this dude he pulls a kid out of line the kids like 13 he weighs i dont know a hundred pounds and he has a bowl cut okay he has a bowl cut in prison do do do do do do do do do its parted in the middle the prisoner goes why you here and the kids like ugh stealing and he goes the fuck you took and the kids goes b bikes and he goes bikes and thats why i yell bikes all the time you should see me when we drive by a bike store holy shit ill be driving ill be like ahh and my wife shes pretty over it um shell go like you get one im like all right im gonna make this shit count so ill pull over roll down the window and i wait till i see somebody checking out one of the sidewalk displays like with all the bikes out there and when they find one they like and theyre like i like this one ill go bikes and theyre like what the fuck and i go stop selling drugs and i drive off thats right super fun you should do it ah man

so my wife is the coolest actually shes the best and uh she weve been together ten years and women will actually ask me sometimes theyll be like ten years thats a pretty good run whats the secret is there a secret and i want to tell you that there is and ladies the key to your mans heart is through his taint now if you dont know the taint is that little strip of land between a mans balls and his butthole also known as the devils driveway now some of you are like i dont want to go there that sounds scary well yeah your mans perineum thats like the incan ruins of his body and just like machu picchu its a little out of the way but once you get there the rewards are oh so glorious ladies i just gave you top secret clearance okay um welcome to area 51 yeah i never want to hear another woman complain i cant get a guy to call me back well take a vibrator press it against his chode and you will have to shut down a cell tower because that man is gonna harass you all right yeah after you make him shiver dont be an asshole and put it on high speed the first time youll send him to the emergency room but ease into it one two three hell be like all right im not piling on you for not doing enough if youre a woman guys are the worst absolutely every guy friend of mine that complains about a sex thing its always the same stupid shit theyll be like you know like i liked her but shes not slutty she didnt do anything slutty im like huh you tell her what you like unh unh im like oh well you weird silent fuck you gotta tell her if she likes you shell do it gotta tell her put on a clown suit and peg me or whatever you like ill tell you my favorite i dont give a shit i love the medical genre that is my favorite i love those pornos where the guy goes in the doctors office hes like oh my back hurts the nurse is like thats cause your big stupid balls are full get over here i love that i love it i told my wife and now we have scrubs everybody likes it dont act like whenever you if youre a guy and you see a nurse you always are like maybe shell suck it like that like you always even if you see a nurse walking around youre like hey what no i didnt say anything i was just do you okay no you dont okay no i feel fine thank you its the best

i love i love though on the medical pornos those scenes they always end with letting you know how hes doing medically like the guy goes uhhh my back feels better youre like oh wow we were all worried about your third lumbar so thats good crazy and i swear this is true as much as i love that shit i have never in my life seen a smaller version of my own dick than when im in the doctors office like it gets so small and it leans to the left so my dick is like what did you say hmm should i be here dad you ever yell at it youre like what the fuck monday we were hitting thigh and today youre like i want to stay in bed and read so you go out im gonna draw a bath bye and youll be like you stupid little dick they have porno suggestions isnt that weird too like you watch a scene its like and youre like what and then its like some weird sh its like sis is mad at her brother for not leaving so she blows him and youre like ugh gross all right im gonna see what it looks like theyre not really related that scene is so stupid cause they always call each other bro and sis like any fucking people on the planet do that the girls like bro my friends are coming over get outta here hes like no way sis not leaving come on whatll it take boop right there thats what itll take okay and youre like all right its not a good premise but ill watch it

let me ask you this if youre white arent you a little tired of being blamed for every racial injustice like doesnt part of you yeah yeah yeah no thats good so people are like what the fuck no thats what im saying like dont you kinda want to tell like the other people why doesnt your group get their shit together and then you can ascend to the top and then you can oppress other people not as many claps on that one well uh oops heres all im saying okay every race is racist okay were the best at it but every race is racist whos super racist asians right yeah you guys are youre nodding like you know goddamn right i am of course you dont know about it theres a hierarchy to the whole thing heres how it works japanese theyre number one which is weird cause their genitals are blurry but theyre number one right then chinese and koreans are right there and everybody else whos like tan like vietnamese and filipino theyre like fuck you true or not yeah dont you feel better about everything right now like whats your ethnic background youre chinese thats number two thats almost at the top thats great thats gotta feel good right who did you like who did your parents talk the most shit about growing up wait were you raised in an asian household or are you one of those thats cute lets get one of those cause thats a legit question asian so whod your parents talk the most shit about growing up racially be honest huh japanese japanese fuckin all right so do you hate japanese people no they fucking hate you a lot you know they do uh what do your parents say about them whats the shit that they talk they wanted me to marry one they wanted you to marry one they wanted her to do whatever you want are your parents saudi or can i get this fucking straight for a second your parents were like we want our beautiful chinese boy to marry a japanese girl so that shell do whatever you want meaning theyre submissive yes yeah all right so whos this fucking lady sitting next to you whats she all about hey dont fucking answer its his world what is what is uh ask him if you can answer shes chinese damn do you know do you know how i found out about asian racism this is how i found out about it i had no idea im shooting a commercial in l a and they fly in a japanese director okay uhhh grunts everything so yeah so i was like do you have indigestion he was uhh no were shooting the commercial and between takes theres a filipino production assistant so he come up and talks to us and he walks away and when he walks away i see the japanese director give him a very dismissive look like and i go hey i saw that with my eyes what was that all about i go you dont like him and he goes and i go why not and he goes did you catch it it was really fast he basically said i dont like him cause i dont like his skin color and he did it with this little gesture and i was like holy shit thats fucking brilliant how did i not think of that you dont have to worry about people hearing you and getting hit just make a little thing and move it along like dont act like youre not gonna use that five fucking times this week when youre in your favorite restaurant and they come in youre like lets take it to go thanks a lot

i remember years ago im watching a movie with my dad in the middle of the movie the actor tommy lee jones appears onscreen great actor oscar winner unprompted my dad turns to me and he goes did you know he was gay and i was like no yeah now it doesnt matter and i dont care but i decided i would tell everyone i ever met for the rest of my life that tommy lee jones is gay i told a lot of people like from the fugitive through no country for old men i told everybody until one day i told somebody and he goes no he isnt and i was like yeah he is and he goes how do you know that and i said my dad told me what your dad fuck him or something i was like i dont think so then he goes ive known him 40 years i know his wife and kids i knew him when he was single he is not gay and i go what is happening right now and i called my dad immediately and i was like dad i just got confirmation that tommy lee jones isnt gay and my dad goes oh i thought he was is that the end of your investigation are you fucking serious why did you tell me that he goes i dont know i said did somebody tell you he goes i cant remember i said have you been telling everybody for 15 years that tommy lee jones is gay and he goes yep i go dont you think we should stop he goes now we should

the red poison of your lips the red poison of your eyes is where i kissed the blood from just that corner of your mouth where i can see the white of your smile up to my neck when i m breathing without you without you up to my eyes and i m seeing without you without you we ll start a fire and burn some bridges and make it out of here tonight we need some leverage we can t seem to open up the locks are far too tight and the chains are far too strong far too strong up to my eyes and i m seeing without you without you up to my heart when i m bleeding without you without you we ll start a fire and burn some bridges and make it out of here tonight please someone help me i m dying here in front of you please someone help me i m dying here in front of you with a hundred thousand lights timing as everything well with a hundred thousand lights timing timing is everything to me please someone help me i m dying here in front of you please someone help me i m dying here in front of you it s everything it s everything timing is everything it s everything

this is not made up ill tell you this man not too long ago i met former heavyweight champion of the world iron mike tyson and it completely changed my perspective on a famous person cause i thought i knew famous people friends of mine on tv and movies they are dog shit next to mike tyson think about how he is famous the way an ex president is famous in that he cant go anywhere in the world without everyone knowing who he is you can take him to the philippines you can take him to siberia you can take him to namibia and people would be like mike tyson everybody knows mike tyson thats a perfect impression by the way so were on an afternoon flight from l a to pittsburgh he is sitting across the aisle one row back hes right there it takes an extra hour to board the flight why because every passenger that boards sees him and theyre like get the fuck out of here and they shit their pants and hes super nice he shakes everyones hand flight attendants are telling people go to your seat and theyre like nope talking to him were not asking you were telling you i dont give a shit im not going anywhere it takes forever we leave late i dont say anything about half an hours left in the flight and then i tell myself you have to say something youre never going to run into him again so i get up walk over to his seat and i go im sorry to bother you i grew up watching all of your fights and im a big fan and he goes thank you i said im just curious why are you going to pittsburgh he goes im promoting a fight what about you i said im a comedian im going to do shows and he goes youre a comedian i go yeah he said wheres your show i said its a comedy club called the pittsburgh improv and he goes wheres that and i go i have no fucking idea and he goes is your show tonight and i go no its eleven oclock at night and were on a plane were in the sky right now mike he goes well whens your show and i go tomorrow and he goes where and i go still at the pittsburgh improv he goes how do i find it i go i dont fucking know google it then it hits me like two seconds later how batshit crazy it is of me to tell him to like google it you know like you figure it out fuckface am i out of my mind so i grab a dvd out of my bag i give it to him i go it has my name on it just type it in itll show you where im at he goes thank you i go thats cool i met tyson ten seconds later im sitting in my seat and i hear tom yes mike tyson he goes were you on television recently and i go mm mmm he goes are you sure and i go yeah i think so and he goes nothing and i go i mean im on netflix and he goes i fucking love netflix okay he goes whats your favorite show on netflix tom i go are we really doing this right now like shouting across the aisle i like house of cards man like it feels crazy okay so im super nervous i dont know what to say im like i dont know i watched breaking bad on netflix and he goes my wife likes breaking bad but he said it like you like shit my wife likes and i was like ugh then his eyes light up like saucers and hes like oh you like sons of anarchy and i know its a great show theres a lot of great shows i cant see every show ive never seen it do you ever lie like a child to an adult cause you think theyll like you more if you like the same thing well i saw that face and i go its my favorite show of all time and hes like its the shit and i was like oh i know that one episode thats my favorite and then he gives me a fist bump across the aisle right is this not registering to you i get a mike tyson fist bump yeah i can feel his powers transferring from his hand into mine im like oh shit thats crazy right im so happy and then a few seconds later i feel a bear paw on my shoulder and i turn and tyson is standing above me im like jesus christ immediately he leans down and he whispers in my ear so nobody else can hear and he goes ive been watching a lot of netflix thats it thats all he said dude i never thought that sentence could be terrifying and now hes just looking at me like now you say something bitch ya know i was like i never turn it off its the best i dont know what to say he goes now i recognize you and i go what and he holds up the dvd and i go i just gave that to you and he goes its the same picture thats on netflix and i go oh yeah thats the same picture he goes i know who you are i go thats crazy and he goes give me your phone number and i go what i give him my number we land i fucking run off the plane okay its like too much weird shit for one day the next day im sitting in my hotel room and i get a text message from mike tyson you know what it says wheres your show and i go the pittsburgh improv wheres that i fucking google it i send it to him and the phone rings hey tom and i go sup champ he goes were coming to your show tonight brother and i go thats fucking crazy he goes yeah we wanna watch you do your work and i go well im honored and he goes its all love i know what hes saying i know the expression and i just want to reciprocate but i i dont know what to do and im super nervous and i just go i love you and he goes mmm good luck at your show and he hangs up the phone seattle youre the best thank you so much thank you very much appreciate it thank you

just light the match and run run from all those times she poured gasoline and by fires light she cried she cried all night the salt from her tears rusted shut her eyes she should have shut her eyes turn off the lights blow out the candles tonight romance this chance to set angels to flight before they die ill take this ink from my arms and write your name in the sky please don t use my letters to start your fires this time please drive faster faster than the light erase her embrace erase it from your mind let this die remember oceans like times together across these oceans i sent my letters i sent these letters to you remember oceans and time together in my mind remember starting your fires off my eyes remember these oceans like fires off your eyes

i tried so hard to be her day but the night has already taken me away i tried so hard to be her day but the night has already taken me away shedding dreams under the maple tree where i carved your name nothing left not even time straight reads the line his life had reached the end wanting only to be loved by adrienne letters explained his grief but she would never read his wrists would bleed but she would never see so he took his life at the age of 23 and she had always loved him but he would never know for she covered her love like stars cover the sky hiding her heart fearing what he would find inside years took her away a widow she remained holding him deep inside wishing she too would die holding him deep inside wishing she too would die time favors no one and if we wait we too can fall in love a second too late

tears run down my face just like the last no different from yesterday sick from the mirror do these prayers feel sincere the dirt never washes clear you were good so good i grew to love your lies until i put you in the past love was lust until he revealed the man behind the mask will the scars go away in this world i have no place will the scars go away in this world i have no place forgive me jesus this time i cry i rip my heart out to give to you alone it never did me any good hold me close wash my mind destroy the me that lives inside

never expected it to arrive so soon but as the night drifted on it came time to say goodbye turning your back and walking away this cold winter morning is all that remains why couldn t you tell me to my face instead of hiding until i lost faith a heart gets broken as a life gets set free and all i asked was love me years passed seasons changed and i waited hate time to say goodbye hate time soon after was the pain that would never reach you hate time to say goodbye hate time you ve gotten over me but it seems i ll never get over you hate time to say goodbye hate time on me i place this blame regrets hate time to say goodbye hate time praying heaven will open wide and hold you tight as for me i ll be alright this impact you would have the songs i d write dreams of you changing your mind anything to pass the time but for now you can hear me as i cry i love you and goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye

another year has gone by time just took that away friends have changed clear skies watched over us but we ve had our share of rain romance still sits untouched by the water she waits patiently hoping i ll take her home someday someday to think i lost her that my dreams were her only place but for her i ve learned to wait one smile remains on my face knowing god hold her at night letting her know i m on my way so i ll hold my head high for love may be a day i can t say but tomorrow awaits bringing me closer to you

let s go motherfucker it s time to put your dance shoes on we are hitting the town let s go motherfucker tonight we re gonna party until our feet starts bleeding you heard us the time is ours we re awaiting the nightfall to turn us alive like werewolves thirsting for blood me and my boys are craving you have to turn up the sound and celebrate this night hey ladies put your best moves on and show us that you got it we ll eat your soul just to spit it right back hey boys oh let s open fire and take what is left we are the werewolves and this night has just begun and we will slit the fucking flesh right off you don t take this personal you just don t make the cut we own this night and you my dear are wasting our time we re the pack of wolfs and we re living for the nightlife you are the party the moon is full and i can feel a change are growing strong what the fuck is going on i got this urge to sink my razor teeth through thickened skin my sense is strong the scent of blood still lingers in the mist i feel like i m turning into something new a wolf hunting til the death of moon right we ll sing from the top of our lungs that this time we re making history this time we ll set the record straight from the top of our lungs that this time we re making history this time we ll oh shit i forgot that the moon is full so come on everybody don t take this personal you just don t make the cut we own this night and you my dear are wasting our time we re the pack of wolfs and we re living for the nightlife you are the party werewolves everybody sing we are the werewolves one more time one last fight a final night a final night to set this straight to set this straight oh

run away and play your games hide well so i can t find you i ll wait for summer to come then laugh as the trees burn down around you your body was just a test for me and if i run as fast as i can the thought of your memory will catch up with me will catch up with me i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared you always mislead me i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared you always got the worst of me its a shame that your still lying broken here in this moment everything just seems so clear because her body was just a test you see if you run as fast as you can the thought of my memory will catch up you see i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared you always mislead me i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared at all you always misled me when summer passes i ll let go and if you don t free me then just dig yourself out and when summer passes let me know so i can find meaning to live i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared you always mislead me i m always late with my words we tried so hard we tried so hard i should have told you but i never really cared you always misled me